In today’s rollercoaster of news, one can’t help but chuckle at the circus unfolding under the tent of the Biden administration. Imagine this: an 18-year-old Haitian migrant, cheerfully named Aim Mark Desire—because who doesn’t love a good play on words—landed in Miami, bounced into Massachusetts, and was arrested for allegedly causing quite a ruckus with a ten-year-old boy. It seems our immigration policies are casting a wider net than anyone expected, and the repercussions are not just tragic but, if one dared to blend it with comedy, utterly absurd.
Desire flew into the U.S. like he was boarding a rollercoaster ride at a theme park, part of the Biden administration’s so-called “migrant flights program.” Nothing screams “American Dream” like getting an all-expenses-paid trip across the ocean, only to have a police officer waiting with handcuffs ready upon arrival. But hey, who could have predicted that a program designed to assist migrants might also accidentally let a few bad apples slip in? It turns out, his arrival could have been more of a ‘Desire to be cautious’ situation—see what I did there?
This incident brings to mind an unfortunate trend. Last week, another Haitian migrant from the same lovely flight program was charged with aggravated child rape in a charming migrant hotel that seems to be more a scene from a horror movie than a safe haven. It raises the question: when was the last time a government program didn’t come with a side of controversy, like a bad flavor of potato chips? “Yeah, we’ve got barbecue, sour cream and onion… oh, and the new spicy scandal flavor.”
The absurdity doesn’t stop there. The Department of Homeland Security recently decided to restart this very program, proclaiming they will implement “additional vetting.” This cycle of appointing officials who claim to be the guardians of our well-being while allowing questionable practices to roll along is beginning to feel like a poorly executed game of musical chairs. Spoiler alert: the same old games are still being played; some just got new players. And it’s hard not to raise an eyebrow when internal audits report more fraud than actual applications—talk about a shady game of numbers!
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room—or the tap-dancing clown, as is more fitting in these times. A quick Google search for “illegal immigrant crime rates” might yield results better than a magic trick. At least one would think the numbers floating around could conjure up a bolt of common sense. But no, year after year, the claims of significant crime reductions wrap up tighter than a gift from a wishful thinker. One might conclude that criminals learned to use invisibility cloaks while the statistics danced merrily into never-never land.
While it’s utterly cringe-worthy to laugh at the tragedy unfolding, there’s a lesson in all this: yes, people want a better life; yes, the intentions may be good; but let’s not pretend that every heartwarming story about new immigrants will end with fireworks and sunshine. Like looking for a needle in a haystack, sifting through intentions to discern who’s genuinely looking to become part of the community versus those who wish to exploit the system is no easy task. But hey, if life hands out lemons, let’s at least make a punchline out of them, right? After all, a decent punchline may very well lead to a serious conversation.
