The circus is in town, ladies and gentlemen, and its star attraction is none other than the beleaguered Kamala Harris, who apparently needs a little help from her pop-star friends to survive the upcoming election. Pollster Frank Luntz appeared on a well-known network last night and declared that without a boost from none other than Taylor Swift, Harris’s campaign could be in serious trouble. Yes, Kamala Harris needs a concert—because nothing screams “qualified candidate” like a catchy pop tune.
Let’s face it: If you’re relying on a celebrity endorsement to turn the tide of an election, things aren’t looking too rosy. The Democratic Party seems to be missing the memo that voters want substance over fluff. And here we are, with Harris’s team insisting a Taylor Swift concert could magically transform her appeal among Black men, Latinos, and the disillusioned youth. Because if you can’t win them over with policies or competence, who better to turn to than a musical diva with a penchant for relatable heartbreak? Next stop: staging a Broadway show dedicated to her campaign—featuring a surprise guest appearance by Justin Bieber. Now that would definitely save democracy.
Frank Luntz was quick to point out something painfully obvious: Black men aren’t exactly rallying behind Kamala. But instead of addressing the issue head-on, the Democrats have rolled out a strategy straight from the gaslighting playbook. “No, no, they actually do support her,” they say while winking at each other and pretending they don’t see the cringe-worthy polls. Barack Obama, in a move that’s equal parts disappointing and predictable, decided to add fuel to the fire by calling out the demographic he seems to believe should just “get with the program.” News flash, Barack: telling people they’re wrong for not supporting someone is not exactly a winning strategy. It’s more reminiscent of a Netflix drama gone wrong than any sane political approach.
Another spectacle worth mentioning involves the ubiquitous blame game that seems inherent to Democratic politics. At one point, the former president suggested that sexism might be to blame for Harris’s lack of support. Because why face the music and examine her policies when you can just throw men under the bus? What’s next, blaming gravity for her plummeting approval ratings? It seems the Democrats might want to consider some introspection instead of externalizing every problem onto the nearest demographic. Spoiler alert: Just because one of your own is a woman doesn’t mean she’s automatically deserving of widespread support.
Meanwhile, over in the world of the increasingly absurd, Elon Musk is throwing money around like he’s trying to win a game of Monopoly, all while AOC pretends she’s a local expert in Pennsylvania. Between million-dollar giveaways and questionable campaign strategies, we can barely keep track of the circus act unfolding. It’s as if they think if they throw enough dollar bills at the wall, something will stick. Perhaps next, we should offer a million-dollar prize for voters who can name one of Harris’s accomplishments. Better start practicing, voters; this game isn’t as easy as it sounds!
As we inch closer to November and the political theater ramp-up reaches fever pitch, let’s brace ourselves for the melodrama. Kamala Harris might need an ensemble cast to pull off the comeback of the century, but let’s bet they also throw in a few scripted laughs. With clowns in every corner—both on-screen and off—this election is shaping up to be a prime-time special no one asked for. So grab your popcorn, folks! The show is about to begin, and it promises to deliver all the cringe-worthy moments we’ve come to expect from our current political landscape. Buckle up; it’s going to be wild.
